Overcoming Fear ? Need help? Feel the Fear & Do it Anyway

Did you know that by overcoming fear you can actually turn fear into confidence? Did you know that you can turn fear into action? Did you know that once you confront the fear it actually goes away? You may have read these things, you may even think you know these things and yet you are still paralyzed by your fear. Maybe paralyzed in your case is too strong a word and you aren’t paralyzed, but certainly slowed waaaaay down by it. The truth is feeling the fear and living in that state is actually more frightening, more debilitating than overcoming fear and acting on whatever is frightening you.

Overcoming fear does not mean being reckless!

It’s vital for you to know that some of our fears are instinctual & healthy. Those are the kinds of fears that keeps us alive. Others are because of our conditioning. Remember back to when you were a child? Didn’t some adult always say to you as you were leaving the house ”be careful”? Even today when my loved ones walk out the door I say drive carefully, heck when my son is traveling from NYC where he lives to visit me in California I say “fly carefully” & he isn’t the pilot! Overcoming fear does not mean you throw caution to the winds or stop being naturally concerned about the pros and the cons in any decisions you may make.

Susan Jeffreys the author of Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway writes:

In all my years, I have never heard a mother call out to her child as he or she goes off to school, ‘Take some risks today, Darling…’ She is more likely to convey to her child, ‘Be careful, Darling.’ This ‘be careful’ carries with it a double message: ‘The world is really dangerous out there…AND…you won’t be able to handle it.’

Susan Jeffers- Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

Can’t handle it- overcoming fear of failure

Underneath the fear of most things is the feeling that you won’t be able to handle what-ever life brings your way. In effect you fear failure and overcoming the fear of failure is perceived as being harder than just avoiding the situation that scares you altogether! If you knew you could handle it you wouldn’t be as afraid of it. That is the paralyzing kind of fear. However, that fear becomes less so when you have a number of things under your belt that you have done, even though you were frightened. Yes, things come up, as they do in life and you handled it. You then have a bit of history that says “I did it, I handled the unknown. If I did it then I can do it now. I don’t have to know every possibility that may come up. I don’t have to let the “what ifs” take over my mind. I can remind myself that I can handle it.” You need to observe and distance yourself from your inner critic if you are serious about overcoming fear. Read more on the inner critic here.

We can’t anticipate the roadblocks that may come up along the way, but when our mind starts coming up with the what ifs such as: What if I make the wrong decision. What if I get there and no one talks to me? What if I forget my words while giving my speech, What if I say I love you first and he doesn’t say it back, and on and on and on. You’re not alone, everyone feels some kind of fear. The healthiest retort is “I’ll handle it”. You need to tap into your inner observer and stop those what if’s in their track when overcoming fear. Read more about the inner observer here.

Overcoming fear of………………………..

Here are some common fears:

• The fear of making decisions
• The fear of being alone
• The fear of public speaking
• The fear of intimacy
• The fear of aging
• The fear of losing a loved one
• The fear of success
• The fear of failure
• The fear of rejection

My own experience in overcoming fear

Just so you won’t feel so alone in this let me tell you of my own experience. When I was just out of school I had to go to a well-known wealthy women’s charity and do a talk. It was going to be an informal lunch and I was to eat with them and afterwards simply make my presentation from my chair. This was my first experience at public speaking and I remember being so frightened of my impending talk that I could barely eat my lunch. The time came for me to speak and someone moved my chair to the head of the room and I began my presentation.

I became so overwhelmed by my fear that during my third sentence or so tears began streaming down my face. Horrified by my inability to control the tears flowing from my eyes I then launched into a full blown sobbing cry. OMG, talk about embarrassing! To my surprise the women were so overcome by my obvious fear and discomfort they came up to me, put their arms around me and began to comfort me saying things like, “don’t worry, you’re fine. This isn’t that important, you can tell it to us again”. Overwhelmed by their kindness I was able to get myself somewhat together and get back to my office. What misery I suffered that day, and yet I summoned the courage to do it again and again and even again. Today I’ve spoken in front of thousands of people at a time and although I still get a bit nervous I do it and usually do it very well. I’ve turned that fear into excited anticipation. What used to make me cry now makes my heart sing. My confidence has been built on the history that tells me I felt the fear and did it anyway and I even got better at overcoming fear each time.

Things to remember when overcoming fear:

1 You can choose to look at fear as excitement.

2. Once confronted the fear goes away.

3. Doing it builds confidence.

4. You’re not alone, everyone feels frightened at some time or another.

5. Pushing through the fear is less frightening then feeling helpless.

As long as you are growing and you continue to reach for new horizons fear may come up. You can choose to look at it as a good thing, a natural feeling and a sign that you are building new talents and expressing more and more of yourself. Overcoming fear makes you stronger - you can do it!

Watch this short video and program yourself to push through your fears. You can feel the fear and do it anyway.

Get your free 5 min guided meditation/visualization to create Peace & Clarity, mp3 immediate download now. – See more at: http://loranegordon.com/yourhappinessway/welcome-to-my-page