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Silencing your inner critic

We all have one. Ugh!

It’s that inner voice that criticizes you and disapproves of what you’re doing, or saying, what you have done or how you are doing it. It causes you to doubt your future success. When you listen to it you may find it sounds an awful lot like one of your early caregivers.

In a recent article in the Huffingtonpost http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erin-cox/inner-critic_b_4111182.html

….the author named her inner critic Mavis and noticed the voice when it said things like:

” Who do you think you are?”

“Why would anyone want to listen to you?”

“Who is going to purchase your new product?”

” Nobody is going to show up.”

Sound familiar?

Many of us think that by taking that voice seriously it will spur us on to improve, but that is not the case. Believing that voice, that inner critic, will leave you feeling shamed or even depressed. It can cause you to lose your energy to do anything, to complete a task and be all you can be. All of this is the opposite of motivation. It’s more like suffocation!

Listening to that voice and believing it, can cause many unhealthy behaviors including; over eating, procrastination, drinking and excessive busyness. We often think of those things as avoidance and that’s true. We’re avoiding facing the inner critic. Unfortunately the results of those behaviors have unpleasant repercussions.

Face your inner critic

The most powerful thing you can do to silence your inner critic is to hear it. Pay attention to that voice. I’m not telling you to believe it, but do notice it or “observe” it. Our natural desire to protect ourselves will cause us to try and drown out the voice to the point where we may not even be conscious of it, but that’s when it’s the most powerful. Think of it this way. Walking down a dark road in a dangerous neighborhood and ignoring the danger, or pretending it’s not there. That’s when you’re at your most vulnerable. Awareness is the key when you’re in a physically dangerous situation and this is also true of the inner critic.

Becoming aware of that voice is key to silencing it. There are many ways to begin to notice the voice including how you feel emotionally and even physically when you are in full blown identification with it.

How to deal with your inner critic

You might start by remembering your physical feelings when that voice is telling you that you don’t look good enough or you’re not smart enough or you’re not doing something right. Where might you feel that in your body? Do you get a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, a back ache, do you shed tears? When you become aware of those feelings and you know they are sparked by believing that inner voice that’s when you can intend to observe it, which is actually the beginning of rendering it powerless.

Remember back to how you’ve reacted emotionally at times when the inner critic gained power. Did you go to bed and pull the covers over your head? Did you lose all your mental energy to complete the task? Did you retreat into isolation?

Once again, being forewarned is forearmed. It takes a lot of awareness to get control of that voice. The truth is it will never completely go away, but you can learn to handle it in such a way that you’re no longer affected by it.

Ways to handle the inner critic

• Observe
• Take a breath
• Mentally realize this voice is not you
• Realize the voice isn’t correct
• Realize everyone deals with this to various degrees
• Say to yourself, “Oh, that’s the inner critic again.”
• Find it amusing and brush it off the way you would a ridiculous remark said by someone you don’t respect.

Ways NOT to handle the inner critic

• Try to push the voice away
• Ignore it
• Believe it
• Look for reasons to back up what it’s telling you

In the end should you really believe what it’s saying and if it could possibly be true then face it. Face it and ask yourself what you can do to improve. Say for example it’s telling you you’re being lazy but instead of saying just that it sounds something like “Hey get off your fat lazy ass and do something!” Notice it and recognize that was a very mean way to tell you to get productive. Think of what you could do in order not to believe you are being lazy, just one tiny thing and do it. Doing that and celebrating your accomplishment turns a negative into a positive.

If I were to sum this up into one word I would have to choose AWARENESS. It’s all part of becoming more conscious. Choose to WAKE UP, face your inner critic; you’ll be happier and more productive when you do.

Watch this short video telling you more about Your Inner Critic and how to disable it.

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