Happiness is a Choice! You can choose happiness

If Happiness is a Choice How do you Choose IT?

Maybe you have heard this before; Happiness is a choice, and it makes you mad! You say to yourself, “if happiness is a choice then why are so many people unhappy?” Seriously, “I’m miserable and I hate it..surely you are not saying I am choosing to be unhappy?” Well, in some ways you are! Now, please don’t get angry- my mission is to help you bring happiness into your life. There is nothing more I could wish than to have everyone feel happy and content with their lives. This does NOT mean there won’t be times you are unhappy; life throws us curve balls all the time and sad things happen. You would be a very odd person if you didn’t feel miserable sometimes. However, you do not have to feel unhappy all the time, it does not have to be your default emotion. Choosing happiness is a shift but one you can make if you are able to take a few short and simple steps.

Happiness is a choice - so says science

Although our general mood levels and well-being are partially determined by factors like genetics and upbringing, roughly 40 percent of our happiness is within our control…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/09/scientific-proof-that-you_n_4384433.html

Many of the suggestions in the above article are good, but they may only help to lighten your mood, unless you learn how to really embed these practices.

Tips to help you understand how happiness is a choice

1. Understand your default emotion

Whether it be nature or nurture, we tend to react to different circumstances with a set of behaviors, a default setting as to how we see the world. Since the time of the Greek philosopher Hipocrates there has been discussion of the four “humors” or temperaments of human personality type.

Four temperaments is a proto-psychological theory that suggests that there are four fundamental personality types,sanguine (optimistic leader-like), choleric (bad-tempered or irritable), melancholic (analytical and quiet), and phlegmatic (relaxed and peaceful). Most formulations include the possibility of mixtures of the types.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_temperaments

Modern psychology has taken this idea further but for the purposes of this exercise let us look at how you perceive situations in a simpler fashion.

It takes understanding to get the idea that happiness is a choice, understanding of the choices we usually make when faced with challenges. So, your first step is to identify the patterns in your reactions. Ask yourself the following questions…

1. How do you feel when someone disagrees with you?
2. How do you feel when you are running late for an important appointment?
3. How do you feel when you are criticized in your work/home?
4. How do you feel when your child answers you back?
5. How do you feel when somebody cuts you up on the road?

Now- look at your answers- are there similarities in your emotions? Do you feel; anger, anxiety, inadequacy, fear?

I look at our default emotions in more detail in my Happiness first program and will also be covering this soon in a new 5 part video series- watch out for details!

If you could set your default emotion to happiness wouldn’t life be so much better? Well, when you master the idea that happiness is a choice you can “see” yourself defaulting to anger/fear/anxiety and re-set that emotion to happiness.

Tip Number 2 to help understand happiness is a choice

2. Practice gratitude

Oh dear, I can hear some of you groaning! I bet there are some of you saying, “I have nothing to be grateful for”.

The problem here is that many think gratitude means having wonderful things happening all the time which are easy to be grateful for. I want you to set your sights on simpler things. The sun shining, children laughing, your dog playing tricks. See here for more ideas on gratitude. Try the following exercise;

Spend ONE DAY, writing down EVERYTHING you are grateful for and all the good things that happen that day.

Let me give you an example from a day in my life

My darling husband brings me a fresh cup of coffee and I snuggle in bed for an extra 15 minutes feeling warm and comfortable.

My crazy dog Baxter brings me his leash, then rolls over to have his tummy rubbed giving me his “cute” look…how can I resist?

I walk the dogs…the sun is shining through white clouds rushing across the sky. It is very quiet except I can hear birds chattering.

I go to the grocery store and the clerk smiles at me and somebody holds the door open for me as I leave.

My friend calls and tells me her mother has recovered from surgery and is well enough to go home

Somebody leaves a comment on my blog telling me how I have helped her so much with my writing…..the sun is still shining!

Now, none of these happenings were particularly huge, but I was grateful for all of them and that gratitude keeps my heart warm with happiness. Try it yourself..

Happiness is a choice you have the power to make

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Tip No 3 is cultivating some self-belief!

If you read the newspapers or watch the TV you might be forgiven for feeling sad and small. So much anger and bad news in the world. Let me ask you to make a shift. Think of yourself as a huge ball of light, shining on others in a positive way. Each human being has a purpose in life, we just lose our way sometimes or struggle to find that purpose. Now, we may feel overwhelmed by circumstances outside our control but that doesn’t mean we cannot make a difference. Discovering your purpose takes time, and some help. It is the focus of my next project, to help people find their purpose, because with purpose comes meaning. With purpose you will find choosing happiness becomes easier.

In the meantime, you need to believe in your own power, however small to make a difference. If happiness is a

Contribute to charity through action- as simple as dropping off unwanted items at the goodwill shop, or giving some time to a charity function. You may not feeling as if you are choosing happiness through these actions- but you sure are not choosing misery! When we move away from our own sad thoughts happiness is a choice we are making by default as we help others to feel better.

Happiness is a choice, but it is also a process..

Tip No 4 - Understand this takes time!

There will be days when stuff goes wrong, when you feel understandably sad. This does not need to define your life. By adopting a happiness is a choice attitude it does not mean going around with a fixed grin on your face. It does not mean an exhausting focus on “being positive”, but it does not mean laughing your way through every day either. It does mean that you can find good in every day, if you look for it. It does mean you do not have to react with anger at every setback. It does mean you have a choice in how you see the world.

I will soon be starting a new program for people helping them to choose happiness, discover their purpose and use the Law of Attraction in a simple to understand way to bring good things into their lives. I would love to know what you feel is stopping you from understanding that happiness is a choice. Please comment below- let me know what your challenges are- I am here to help. Subscribe to my list to get free gifts and find out when I am launching my Happiness is a choice videos and new programs.

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