Handle Bullying - Are you aware your child is being bullied?
Have you had to handle bullying in your life, your child’s life? It seems as if each month we hear terrible stories of the effect bullying has on children. For any parent it is heart breaking to feel that a child would feel so alone that they may cause themselves harm. Our natural instinct as adults is to protect our children but it may be that we are not even aware there is a problem. It is earth shattering to discover your child is in pain and you didn’t even know it. So, how can you handle bullying if your child won’t tell you it is happening? The first step is to be aware of your child’s emotions and behavior. However busy your life, you need to notice what is going on in theirs. Signs to watch out for are changes in behavior; sudden dislike of places, people, and yes, school! Maybe your normally chatty teenager seems quieter, a little withdrawn. It is especially difficult for teens to talk to their parents about bullying as it seems to them a sign of weakness, of not being tough or smart enough to handle bullying themselves.
Handle Bullying with calm!
If and when you suspect or discover bullying your first reaction may be anger and this is understandable, but not helpful. You cannot help your child to handle the bullying if they are having to deal with your extreme emotions too. So, before talking to your child you need to deal with your own reactions to bullying first. Maybe you were bullied as a child and don’t think that you handled it well. Perhaps there is still someone in your life who is bullying you; a work colleague, a relative, even a loved one. This feeling of bullying may be buried quite deep in your own subconscious and your emotions may be bubbling to the surface now you realize this is happening to your child. The Law of Attraction states that you attract the energy that you put out- so the negative energy attached to these extreme emotions will do you and your child no good. You need to purge this bad energy, deal with it, handle bullying memories from your own life before you can help your child to cope. Read this to help you purge that bad energy - Getting rid of painful energy
Talking to your child about how to handle bullying
It may be necessary to come at this conversation from a slightly different angle than you imagine. Simply asking them if they are being bullied may meet with an emphatic “No” followed by a lowering of the head to hide the lie. What you can do is tell them that nobody has the right to make them feel unsafe or sad. Explain that, as their parent, you are there to help them get past that sadness and tackle its cause. Gentle conversation without blame is needed. You cannot handle bullying if you think it is your fault the bullying is happening. NOBODY deserves to be bullied; however different they are; however much they do not “fit in”. Your role in this is to give your child the security of knowing that whatever they tell you, they will not be blamed or punished.
Handle bullying by boosting self-confidence
Children, as well as adults, who are being bullied will lose self confidence which encourages bullies to continue! Part of the strategy to handle bullying must go beyond the practicalities of contacting the school etc. Even if the bullying stops, your child is still experiencing all that negative energy and loss of self-esteem from the victimization they have suffered. The mayo clinic has some good advice on spotting bullying and strategies to handle bullying and they also identify the importance of building self confidence.
Boost your child’s self-confidence. Encourage your child to build friendships and get involved in activities that emphasize his or her strengths and talents. http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/childrens-health/in-depth/bullying/art-20044918?pg=2
Remember to praise your child regularly and notice their accomplishments. Be grateful for this wonderful being and show them how much you appreciate having them in your life. Happiness for a child is relatively simple; it consists of being loved, knowing they are loved and that they are protected. Bullying can destroy that sense of security but your child also needs to learn to rebuild their confidence. You cannot live their life for them but you can bring warmth, happiness, gratitude and positive energy into their lives. This will attract further positive energy and they will learn strength from knowing you love them.
You can handle bullying and move forward
So, remember 1. Be sure that you create an atmosphere of trust so that your child can talk to you 2. Notice your child’s behavior and talk to them regularly about their day- you will soon spot any worries 3. Deal with your own issues about bullying so that you don’t carry your own negative energy into the situation. (My post on the Pain Body can help with this, as too my Pain Body teaching meditation) 4. Let your child know how much you admire them, have an attitude of gratitude and bring positive energy into your house 5. Build and rebuild self confidence as both a remedy and a preventative measure against further bullying. Please comment below and feel free to ask for help if you are having to deal with the pain of bullying
Thank you Michele Penn, I agree. This is something we all face at one time or another and must be addressed.
Bullying is heard about way too often. Good subject to discuss here. Thank you Lorane 🙂 Great advice to families about bullying!! Peace and love, Michele