Learn to Accept Change to Find Romantic Love
Change #1 to Find Romantic Love
Stop thinking of yourself as having a romantic love “type”.
Over the years as a coach I can’t tell you the many single women that have come to me who will not give a perfectly good man a chance because he isn’t their “type’. What I always remind them is that their so called type is the type that (this could be different in your situation) drinks too much, cheats on you, can’t hold down a job, steals your money, steals other peoples money, doesn’t show you respect, says he’ll do something yet never does it, and cannot be counted on in any way. So is going after your “type” the way to find romantic love? Please note- while this post speaks of “men”, certainly the same ideas apply to those men who too, have a “type” of woman they think is perfect…more on that in another post!
Okay, be honest with yourself here. Did I come close to your “type” in any of the repugnant behavior I described above. Because I certainly do find a common thread in the “he’s not my type” argument that women give for not dating certain men. They have a type in mind they believe will bring them romantic love- but it just is not happening. I wonder why?
Once I talk to these women we bring to light that their romantic love type looks good on paper. He’s their type because he’s familiar to them. No he’s not wearing a sign on his forehead that says “I’ll cheat on you” or anything like that, HOWEVER, you recognize that familiar energy and you’re inexplicably drawn to it.
Ask yourself if your mother was drawn to those types of men. Did your father exhibit any of those types of behaviors? Are your sisters involved in those types of unhealthy unsatisfying relationships. Is your brother treating women in any of those same ways. Because if so then you were born into believing this is your romantic love type.
Don’t start blaming your parents or your background because that’s not how to make a healthy change. Click to Tweet
Blame will keep you stuck exactly where you are and then you’ll feel even more like a victim.
Strangely when we are exposed to something early on in life, regardless if it’s good or bad it becomes in some way acceptable.
Most of the time we are not conscious of it.
Once you become conscious that you are attracting that uncomfortable and unhappy relationship because of your matching energy that’s when you have the power to change things. Then, you have the power to attract your true romantic love, not some learned type who constantly disappoints and fails you.
Change your “Type” and Attract Romantic Love
You can start by asking yourself the following.
When I attract my “type” what is the next thing that always happens?
Write down what happens
What obvious trait do these men have in common?
List those traits
What is the first sign of trouble to come in all these relationships?
Write down the signs that not all is going the way you want it to..
Where am I hanging out and finding these types of men?
List the places you look for romantic love
Who am I associating with that have these types of men around or near them?
Write down family, friends, co-workers etc…who are around
Once you’ve answered these questions honestly you know what changes must be made to find true romantic love.
- Where not to go
- Who not to associate with
- Spot the first signs early on and make a quick about face and run!
Next steps to finding romantic love- having cleared out old habits!
Now make a list of how you want to be treated in a relationship. How you want to feel and be sure your energy matches up. For example, you want to feel respected, but you’re busy saying nasty things to your man and undermining his intelligence. Remember you attract what you are so become the very qualities you want to attract.
Commit to Positive Changes – and you will find romantic love…
Everyone has some part of their life they want to improve . . . the “gaps” that exist between who they are and what they want to be. Some of us focus on it regularly, yet for others, it may not be a priority. When you commit to positive change, big or small, your self-love and acceptance will grow, which in turn provides you with more love to give the world. It is never too late for you to make positive changes and to live the life you envision for yourself.
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Watch out for my next post on how you need to learn to love yourself, before loving others and attracting love!!