Finding happiness isn’t really all that complicated, it’s actually easier than feeling miserable.
All the great wisdom teachings have said, in one way or another, it’s not as much what you have, it’s how you think about what you have. We have all heard stories about the handsome, wildly successful man with a beautiful family, yet he’s utterly miserable. How about those beautiful women that are on the covers of magazines, stars, starlets and models, yet we get news of their drug dependency, failed relationships and alcoholism. Did you ever wonder why with all their beauty, money and worldly success would they be that unhappy?
“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be” ― Abraham Lincoln
You see, it really doesn’t matter how much you have, how society views you, or how beautiful you are. What matters is the way you feel about yourself and how you view your life. Of course this is assuming your basic needs of food, clothing and shelter are met.
We’ve all picked up habits and ways to live our life. We’ve developed thought patterns we’ve learned from our parents and care givers that have formed our self talk. Sadly if we’ve had parents that criticized us and made us feel badly about ourselves, often our own self-talk takes over where their’s left off. When we learn to listen to our self talk we can change this.
Happiness is all about the way you view things and how you treat yourself. Click to Tweet You can choose to look at what you don’t have and be miserable about it, or you can choose to look at what you do have and appreciate it. Every situation, every moment of your life allows you that choice, but YOU have to choose. Your happiness is your responsibility now that you’re an adult.
Tools you can use to be happy
- The first thing you absolutely need, is to recognize what your thinking and feeling while you’re thinking and feeling it. We can go through our whole lives never actually noticing the thoughts that are making us miserable. You can learn to hear or notice the thoughts that are going through your mind. This is called the Inner Observer. http://loranegordon.com/yourhappinessway/inner-observer/
- Getting in touch with your body and the clues it gives you is very important. Your body can let you know something’s up and it’s time to pay attention to whatever it is even before your mind can. This is something you can learn to notice.
- Be wherever you are while you are there. Sound silly? It’s not. Think of all the times when you were doing something yet thinking about something else. Think of all the times when you were somewhere, yet you were wanting to be somewhere else. You cannot appreciate this moment if you’re not experiencing it. http://loranegordon.com/yourhappinessway/living-in-the-moment/
- Notice when judging something as bad. As soon as we go into judgment about a person, a situation or an event we are less than happy. Judging a person separates you from them and love cannot get in or out. Judging a situation makes one good and the other not as good creating unhappiness.
- Accept everything for exactly what it is. Things are as they are. Accept them and move on. Bemoaning a situation does nothing to change it. As a matter of fact it only keeps you stuck in what you don’t like.
These things may take a little time to incorporate into your life, but I urge you to remember one thing. Happiness is up to you, it’s your responsibility and you can be happy.