Dealing with grief is a very individual process…
However, most of us suffering loss and dealing with grief go through similar stages. What is important is recognizing that you are actually grieving! Dealing with grief can be complicated because what we are feeling can run the range of emotions from anger to disbelief. We can experience emotions of fury one moment and absolute misery the next. Our reasons for grieving are as varied as our feelings. It may be the death of a loved one; abandonment by a partner; loss of a dearly loved pet; loss of job and career. We may grieve when our children leave home and suddenly we feel we have lost our purpose in life.
Others may tell us to “pull yourself together”, a cruel statement when your very being feels fractured into a million pieces! There is a lot of advice for dealing with grief, some good, some not so great. As grief is so personal there is no one single solution for all. I would not presume to say I know all the answers. However, I have experienced loss, I have been through the process of dealing with grief. I am lucky to have spent many years learning and studying Law of Attraction techniques with the masters. These techniques help so much when dealing with grief.
How can the Law of Attraction help when dealing with grief?
It may seem odd to use the Law of Attraction in a grief situation. Surely Law of Attraction is all about attracting money and success? NO!
My own teachings focus on my mantra, “Happiness First..”if you are happy, good things follow. Click to Tweet
Now, if you are dealing with grief, happiness may seem unreachable. I am certainly not telling you to slap a smile on your face and pretend to be happy! However, you CAN use Law of Attraction principles and teachings to help you through dealing with grief and the stages of grief. You CAN find happiness again after loss..it takes time but you can do it. Here are some ways you can use Law of Attraction teachings to help you in dealing with grief.
Acknowledge you are dealing with grief
Denial is a common stage of dealing with grief. The pain of loss is too great so we literally refuse to believe this has happened. This may work for a short while. The numbness blots out the pain, stops us from having to face the consequences of the loss…but it won’t work for the long term. To heal we have to know we are wounded.
To move forward we have to know where we are. Click to Tweet
Yes, it can be a long journey back to happiness, but we have to take the first step.
When we are grieving it can be paralyzing, we feel stuck, unable to move forward. The future is too frightening and full of unknowns. So, for now, you are unable to think about tomorrow. Instead we find ourselves thinking about the past, full of remorse and regret. This is natural, but we cannot let past thinking or future fears stop us from living NOW.
Present Moment Awareness and Gratitude
Living in the now may be hard when dealing with grief, as now seems just too overwhelming! Try focusing on the small things. That cup of hot fragrant tea, or steaming coffee that warms your body and makes you feel better, if only for a moment. Find comfort in pets or small children, who generally are oblivious of your grief and are happy to offer comfort at the simplest level. Warm hugs and affection are crucial when dealing with grief.
Our very skin can hurt when we are grieving, but we need the warmth of contact, it is healing. Click to Tweet
Step outside, literally, out into nature if you can. When you are dealing with grief you often want to be alone…but hiding under the covers in a darkened room may be comforting for a while but in the long run is not very healing. Walking in nature, paying close attention to the tiniest detail of a flower, a leaf, the smell of blossoms, trees; these are the things that are healing. When we live in the now we are more able to appreciate our lives. Do not punish yourself if, as you focus on the now, something makes you smile, even laugh. You are allowed to find happiness in the midst of misery and this is more likely if you connect with nature and the present moment.
You may feel that gratitude is the last thing you can manage right now- but it helps! with your grief. You may very well be pushing away the people that are trying to help you cope. You may feel that you have nothing to be grateful for. When dealing with this kind of immense grief you may feel abandoned, angry, lost, alone. But, there are things to be grateful for. However small, think of what you DO have, be grateful for. It’s a sad reality that there is always somebody else who has even less. If you are managing to get up each day, be grateful for that and your strength. When the sun shines, or the birds sing, or a child laughs, be grateful..it helps to heal your heart to see that there are good things in life and to recognize them.
By staying in the present moment and being grateful, focusing on the small things in life, you can better deal with the grief of the larger things. Loss can be overwhelming, too large to handle. Now is the time to change your focus whenever possible.
Anger and Forgiveness is part of dealing with grief
Anger is a natural and common reaction to loss. The problem with anger, although it is sometimes cathartic, it can also be very destructive. Being angry at someone who has left you, through abandonment or loss, is natural but difficult to resolve. It may be the anger is mixed up with guilt, that feeling you could have done something differently. This is often how we feel. It’s all part of the grieving process, but remember it is a process and it does change. Expressing your anger and acknowledging it, is part of the healing process. At some point, you have to let it go, you have to forgive, both the other person and yourself. You may find my posts on anger , forgiveness, helpful. Plus my pain body release teachings are very useful in this situation.
Finding happiness when dealing with grief
Happiness does not have to mean laughing every day, without a care in the world. In fact I would go as far as to say that real happiness is in the small things. Life happens, but we decide how to deal with it. We can choose how we live our own lives and how we treat those around us. We can practice compassion, kindness and gratitude.
When you are dealing with grief it can be difficult to connect with others. It may feel as if they cannot possibly understand what you are feeling. Some may understand, others may not, but you can find people who understand and can support you. You don’t have to deal with this alone. Family and friends may need you to be strong and that can be challenging. So, you owe it to yourself to find support and believe that you will get through the grief and find happiness.
I have been part of an incredible online summit this last two weeks where over 20 experts gave interviews and advice on finding happiness after loss. I will be releasing my own interview from this summit in the next few days and watch out for my new course on discovering your purpose after loss…coming soon. If you want to be the first to access these new teachings, make sure you register for notification and get some free gifts at the same time!