Do you or a loved one have anger management issues?
Maybe your response to that question is an indignant, NO! Not me, I don’t have anger management issues, I’m fine thank you, what rubbish! Or maybe you’re thinking, yes I know someone who could do with some anger management lessons, but hey, I don’t get angry, not much anyway, I don’t shout or throw things, I keep my cool.
None of us really like to think we have problems with anger because we know it is a destructive emotion and we tend to think of it being closely linked to violence. Anger, when you can see it. is pretty easy to avoid or even deal with. Some of us may be very good at calming down an angry person. Others of us just “move away from the nutcase shouting” and beat a hasty retreat. But what if the anger is buried deep? No shouting or violence just a burning sensation inside of feeling hard done by, betrayed, like life has been unfair.
Anger management of that type of unconscious anger can be much harder. In some ways, those people who let out their anger are dealing with it, expressing their feelings, even asking for help. For those whose anger is related to past occurrences it can be much harder, party because the anger is often tied to guilt. Now, this is often not real guilt- you didn’t actually do anything wrong, but you feel like you did. or, you feel like somebody else wronged you, and somehow that must have been your fault. Why? Well, if somebody is mean to us, a small part of us can feel that we must have upset them, otherwise why would they just randomly be nasty?
Anger management of deep seated anger requires forgiveness
The Law of Attraction principles include forgiveness which can be very hard if you are holding onto anger from the past. Sometimes we don’t even know why we feel this anger because it goes back so far. Maybe our parents kept telling us we had failed, or they were “disappointed” in us. It felt unfair but we didn’t know how to stand up for ourselves so we just buried that feeling of being misunderstood and undervalued. That feeling of, it isn’t fair, if not dealt with often turns to anger as we get older and realize how truly unfair that criticism was for a child. So your first step is to figure out what anger you are holding onto.
Steps to anger management using the Law of Attraction
Recognize that you are angry
Yes maybe you do keep your cool and push down feelings of anger. Just because you don’t shout or show your anger doesn’t mean you aren’t feeling it. Ever stubbed your toe and shouted out? Oddly enough the first feeling that sweeps over us when experiencing extreme pain is anger…the actual pain then follows.
Feel the hurt and acknowledge it
When somebody criticizes us, or puts us down, it hurts. All sorts of thoughts run through our heads- “Why did they say that?” What did I do to deserve that?” “That’s just not fair”. Use your inner observer techniques to watch your self- defeating and negative thoughts. Instead of pushing the hurt down (where it will turn into anger) – hold it up to the light of day.
Meditation can help anger management
The hurt at the time is very real, but if you don’t handle it and push it down it takes on a life of its own and embeds itself into your way of thinking. You start expecting that hurt to be repeated and lose trust in people. Meditation techniques can help you to look at that pain from a place of calm and safety and start healing. Maybe you feel physical pain- this is the emotional pain being expressed by your body and my Pain Body meditations are particularly good for this.
Forgiveness as part of anger management
When we are hurt we often feel that somehow we made this happen- crazy but if you are a natural giver then when somebody rejects you it feels like your fault. So, forgive yourself first. You probably did absolutely nothing wrong, but you have to let go of feeling guilty.
Then you have to forgive others and really if you cannot do that your path will only lead to bitterness and misery. Holding onto resentment will hurt you far more than the other person. So what if they never “get punished” do you really want to be the kind of person who thrives on retribution? If your heart is full of wanting to punish then you will never attract good into your life because the universe will only see that angry black hole in your soul. Be better than the one who hurt you, rise above those feelings of hate and fury, let go of the anger.
The karmic nature of successful anger management
Being angry adds negative energy to the universe which rebounds on all around it.
Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.
The Law of Attraction is not just about bringing good into your life- it is also about reflecting what you are to those around you. If you attract what you are, then anger brings anger and so anger management is crucial to your eventual peaceful and happy life. By being happy, by choosing happiness, it is like shining a healing, calming light on the anger and sadness in yours and others lives. Think of how good you feel when the sun shines and be the sun in your own life. When you radiate happiness, are grateful for the good in your life, you attract more of that good. You will also attract people into your life who want to share and celebrate that happiness, not hurt you.
You can change how you feel about past hurts and feelings of anger. Anger management becomes second nature when you choose happiness not resentment as the path to walk down. Listen to my radio show on how to deal with anger and my expert guest on the matter. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/yourhappinessway/2015/11/20/angry-hurt-its-unfair-right-you-can-change-it
I will finish with this beautiful quote from Buddha