You know the feeling…you are having a laugh and a joke and then “that” friend arrives. The one who sees everything through their own cloud of misery. Within five minutes they have drained the joy out of the air and darkness descends. Who needs emotional vampires like that?
Or, you’ve settled down to watch the box set of Prison Break and the phone rings…It’s Dementor Don(na) moaning about their day at work or stressing about their lack of money, or….it doesn’t really matter to them. Their life sucks, so they happily suck all sunshine from yours.
Here are 5 ways to rid yourself of these emotional vampires and get back your happiness
- Brutal way – refuse to answer their calls, walk away when they arrive and/or ignore them completely! In other words- stop enabling them!
- Less brutal…let them have 5 minutes maximum, then cut them off with a cheerful- “well your life seems lousy, but let’s talk about happy things now!”
- Set rules in advance. Take them aside and tell them you will talk about their misery privately for 10 minutes but NO NEGATIVE TALK in company.
- Give them advice- ONCE ONLY- then when they don’t follow it- tell them, “We talked about this, I gave you advice, you ignored it, I will not talk about this anymore!”
- Give them the telephone number of a counsellor…they can pay someone to listen to their misery!
Seriously, we all want to be a “good” friend but dementors don’t really want advice. They want to moan and it is pretty hopeless trying to get them to change. If you have a sneaky suspicion you might be a bit of a dementor on occasions, then read this guest blog for some advice…. http://loranegordon.com/yourhappinessway/non-attachment/
PS- If all else fails, then garlic breath and carrying a wooden stake may keep them at bay!